We all are aware that divorces are on the rise in India. Most couples cite incompatibility as a reason. Compatibility is nothing but similarity in thoughts. Differences arise out of differing opinions, behavioral patterns or likes and dislikes of partners.
When partners are unaware of each other’s differences in behavioural patterns and the reasons for it, they become incompatible. Difference of opinions between partners is not addressed on time most often. They then tend to live with the differences. These differences eventually become visible and critical over a period of time. Ego plays a major role. In the process, one is not prepared to accept the differences and rectify. All this ends in court rooms.
I would like to share a divorce case I solved through psychometric analysis and personal counseling.
Wife complained: “My husband never looks at me after returning home from office. He gets angry, restless and talks loudly. I am really fed up of him. He never takes me into confidence and all the time points at my mistakes for no reason.”
After capturing the couple’s finger prints, I studied their dermatoglyphic reports thoroughly and asked the lady, “When does he come home usually?”
She said, “Usually between 8 and 8.30 p.m.”
I asked, “How do you look at that time?”
She asked, “What do my looks have to do with his restlessness, poor communication and anger?”
Then I showed her his report and explained, “He is a visual learner with very high percentage of in-born micro observation skill, something he is unaware of. Whenever and wherever he observes anything, he expects that to be logical, nice, organized and in order. If it is not, he gets disturbed. Since his linguistic intelligence is high, he will express his concern prominently and will demand aggressively. In short, his skillful energy is getting de-channelized. That is why he gets upset when he notices you are not organized.”
“On the other hand, you get irritated and hurt because you are an auditory learner. He doesn’t know that. To avoid this, stop arguing with him, making him angry and aggressive. Just get your house and yourself organized. Look decent, smart and at your best when he reaches home. Plan your domestic schedule accordingly.”
While counseling the husband, I asked him: “Do you get angry and restless when you reach home?”
“Yes,” he said, “but I haven’t found out the reason for it. I am a very good teammate in my office. Everybody in the office adores me and my working style. I work in an organized structure. I wonder if something is wrong with my wife.”
I said: “I’ll tell you the reason behind it.”
Then I explained to him the percentage of his visual learning and how it reflects through his behaviour and how he gets suddenly angry seeing his wife looking at her worst at that particular time. He was shocked and surprised to know the reason. He agreed immediately.
I said: “Your wife has understood this behavioural pattern of yours and will take appropriate action when you’ll return home tomorrow. I am sure you will be happy on reaching home henceforth. Understand one thing. Your wife is an auditory learner and she needs verbal appreciation. When she looks good, make it a point to appreciate her beauty. When she cooks something good for you, appreciate her skill. You need to praise her verbally whenever and wherever possible,” I said.
Looking at their physical energy levels, I also guided them on how to enhance their sexual intimacy. The suppressed energy unnecessarily spent on arguments earlier was channelized in a positive direction. The couple followed my instructions immediately and thoroughly. Needless to say, they have been enjoying married life since then.
Dermatoglyphics tells us about our individual energy levels. When we counsel couples, we correct their compatibility levels by making them understand their strengths and weakness. It enables them to start living happily with great level of acceptance for each other.