Never mind who or what she is. These dumb lines said to women are rather annoying. Gentlemen, here’s a chance as good as any to ponder over how it would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Sexism anyone?
- When’s the good news ji? From parents to the neighbours, relatives you wish you never had to own, to employers and yes, even the maids and drivers and potential land-lords, everyone’s obsessed with the state of your womb. This starts from exactly 15 days post the wedding lunch, since that’s the bare minimum time taken to achieve a conception.
- Huh, but didn’t you see it coming—that he was no good??? What about women’s intuition? You girls are supposed to have plenty of that… We, girls, are closer in DNA to the extra terrestrials straight out of Star Wars, Star Trek, Loony Mission-2 or any of those riveting games. Hence, the constant allegations of women’s intuition and why we really ought to have known better in the first place. Wonder how guys would like that profound observation thrown at them in the face of heartbreak/fraud and other such minor life-events?
- How will you manage work and home? This one’s easy: the same way you guys inhale and exhale; manage cricket and boardroom politics; sex and sexism, love and lust, mother and wife, boss and wife… get the drift? It’s second nature, and not too far-out. Ban this idiotic question…like now. Let’s talk about the pay-packet and work conditions you are offering us instead, shall we?
- She’s an attention seeker, fat wannabe. She’s like this ‘coz no one’s gonna want to sleep with her’… This is by far the best of the lot and is thrown at the woman at the speed of light at the end of a heated discussion on a) politics b) the state of art in this country c) the mindset of men d) whether or not the city needs a better garbage disposal system, especially if the opposing orator is holding forth rather forcefully (and God forbid: successfully) is a woman.
- Of course you have a valid reason to be angry. It’s called PMS. Breaking news, gentlemen: there is scientific evidence that women have a reasonable chance at being able to rationalize and analyze, irrespective of the time of the month. In other words, women’s brains are not necessarily linked to their reproductive organs. They are, instead, in concurrence with the stimulus you provide, be it by way of throwing filthy towels on the bed, or worse, idiotic excuses for late-coming at our heads.
- Dress like you deserve respect. Ummm….respect is an emotion you (logically) associate with a living being, not uh, clothes. What do our clothes have to do with who we are as individuals? On second thoughts, that’s too tough a question to negotiate, more difficult than even: “What came first? The chicken or the egg?”